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Things you never asked me
by Bryan Gray
Jul 13, 2016 | 2227 views | 0 0 comments | 315 315 recommendations | email to a friend | print
You never asked, but … Sen. Mike Lee only has a 38 percent favorability rating in a recent Utah poll. So who do Utah Democrats choose to oppose him? A transgender grocery store clerk! No wonder Sen. Lee is smiling.

You never asked, but … Am I the only person amazed that fiscally-conservative Utahns are lining up at the “upscale” soda pop stores (Fizz, Swig, etc.), then taking out a second mortgage on their home to purchase a Diet Coke with a simple splash of coconut? Why didn’t you and I think of that?

You never asked, but … We all knew that music could alter our mood, so it shouldn’t be surprising that studies validate how music changes our buying habits. According to new science, classical music – whether you enjoy it or not – increases high-end buying at stores (Classical music makes us feel more “posh”). Similarly, playing French music in liquor stores increases French wine sales while German music increases sales of German wines (So does playing Mormon Tabernacle Choir music increase the sale of milk and root beer?). And the study also says shopping malls are chasing away teenage loiterers by playing “uncool” Barry Manilow tunes.

You never asked, but … How can Donald Trump win the election when recent studies show 68 percent of Americans say they don’t share his values (60 percent say the same thing about Hillary) and 88 percent admit that he sometimes scares them?

You never asked, but … With public schools in summer recess, about one in every five Utah children will not have access to lunch. That’s one good reason to find a few dollars in your pocket to donate to the Utah Food Bank, which matches each dollar to provide more than $7 worth of food and services.

You never asked, but … It is not only lack of food that causes health problems. During a recent visit to Las Vegas, I ambled by the Heart Attack Grill (“food that kills”) and noted the description of their signature Octuple Bypass Burger: “Eight meat patties cooked in lard for $23.36 and the option of 40 bacon slices for an additional $7.40 (total calories: more than 19,000). I don’t know if the cafe’s owners donate a portion of their sales to a medical school to train new cardiologists.

You never asked, but … The Utah Legislature’s inability to modernize liquor laws is creating an uncertain future. The nation’s leading brewers say they soon may not produce any 3.2 beer since only three states (Utah, Kansas, and Minnesota) will request the low alcohol content. If that occurs, Utahns will no longer be able to buy beer at their grocery store, angering a number of (usually) sober Utahns.

You never asked, but … Any notion that Utah Republicans who attend neighborhood caucus meetings accurately reflect the views of their neighborhoods was swept away by the trouncing Gov. Gary Herbert gave his more ultra-conservative opponent in the Primary Election (Commission candidate Randy Elliot in Davis County and Utah Senate candidate Dan Hemmert in Utah County are other great examples; both were beaten by convention delegates but won rather easily in the primary election).

You never asked, but … The best novel by a Utah author in the last 10 years is “Missing Witness” by attorney Gordon Campbell.

The opinions stated in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of the ownership or management of this newspaper.

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